Finding new meaning in an ancient tradition

As a child growing up in an observant Jewish home, I remember Passover seders with mixed emotions. One highlight was joyfully singing Dayeinu, (It would have been enough for us), which commemorates a long list of God’s miracles. I loved opening the door for the prophet Elijah as my father (not so) secretly shook the table, so it looked like the wine was being sipped. It was fun to chew matzoh into circles for good luck, challenging each other to see who could make the best circle. 

On the other hand, there was the long, dry reading of the Haggadah, the written guide to the seder, which had little meaning to me as a child. I also remember my anxiety about having to recite the four questions in Hebrew from memory and the pride on my father’s face as I accomplished the task.

As an adult hosting large seders for family and friends, I decided to keep the traditions I cherished and reconstruct others to create a more meaningful experience. Since I love to do research, I began writing my own version of the Haggadah, making each year’s version different with a new fun “fact,” or reading. To the traditional foods on the seder plate, I have added an orange to represent gender equality, and an olive for peace.

I try to incorporate some Mussar and a bit of political commentary into the Haggadah to make it relevant for today.

The story in the Haggadah about the four sons, including a wicked one and simple one, always bothered me. So I found another interpretation that I liked better:

Tradition teaches about four children: one wise, one wicked, one simple, and one who doesn’t know enough to ask. We each embody characteristics of all four, so let us:

Be wise enough to find nourishment in our traditions;

Rebellious enough to question what’s problematic;

Simple enough to derive sweetness from ordinary things;

And open to how much we don’t know that we don’t know.

At the end of the seder, before drinking the last cup of wine, we read,

“The redemption is not yet complete. Not everyone in our world is free. There are still slaves around the world due to sex trafficking, forced labor and child labor. There are immigrants imprisoned in detention camps and homeless on our streets. There are people being shamed, shunned and persecuted for their sexual orientation, their ethnicity, race and religion. 

“This fourth cup reminds us of our responsibility to be God’s partners in bringing freedom to those enslaved, peace to those at war, food to those who hunger.”

I’ve also added some fun “facts” and activities that I unearthed online. This year, for example, I found a source that purportedly explained why Ashkenazi (Eastern European) Jews, include apples in their charoset, which is a mixture of fruit and nuts on the Seder plate symbolizing the mortar that the Jewish slaves used. Why apples? I read that Jewish women seduced their husbands in the apple orchards, so they could make babies, even when bringing male Jews into the world was prohibited by Pharoah. The charoset took on a new flavor!

At our seder, we wear masks representing the ten plagues that God brought upon the Egyptians, and this year I bought tambourines for the women to replicate Moses’ sister Miriam leading the women in dance as they escaped from slavery.

Last year, I found an alleged custom of Persian Jews hitting each other with scallions as they sing the chorus of Dayeinu. Too messy for my table! We hit each other with our dinner napkins instead.  

My guests, even the teenagers, seem to enjoy the seder, so as I find new meaning in the Passover story for myself, I hope I’ve done the same for others. Dayeinu!

(Note: I adapt writings from such sources as The Humanist Haggadah, My Jewish Learning, Chabad.org, Kabbalah Experience, The Mussar Institute)