Test Driving Savlanut (Patience)

Buying a new car is always a test of the Mussar trait of savlanut ( patience) as I don’t enjoy interacting with the over-eager salesmen or the finance managers pushing extended warranties or completing the mound of paperwork.  And I had no idea how big an ordeal it would be this time around.

I had spent quite a bit of time over the last two years researching hybrid vehicles, and had set my heart on purchasing one. The local Toyota dealership didn’t have any hybrids in stock, but I understood the salesman to say that one coming in the next couple of weeks. I could wait that long, so I put down my deposit and 10 days later got the call. A beautiful new ruby red RAV 4 was waiting for me. Driving home, I noticed the car was only getting 22 miles to a gallon.

“That’s way too inefficient for a hybrid,” I said to Irv.

“Maybe because we’re going uphill?” he replied.

I didn’t think so, and when we got home, I walked  all around the car and noticed it didn’t say hybrid anywhere although there were both hybrid and gas-powered manuals in the glovebox. I felt frustrated, stupid, and angry. The dealership was closed for the night, so I texted my salesman. I indeed was the not-so-proud new owner of a gas-powered RAV4. Of course, there was nothing to do that night, and he had the next day off.

Using my Mussar training, I chose to assume good intentions and believe it was a bad case of miscommunication and erroneous assumptions. I blamed myself as well as the dealership. I hadn’t double-checked with the salesman when I picked it up because I was sure I was buying a hybrid although I had said “hybrid” to the finance manager, who didn’t correct me.

I tossed and turned all night, alternately reproaching myself and the dealership. Should I just suck it up and make friends with the new car? Or should I persevere (rather than perseverate) and try to get the car I had wanted? My feelings fluctuated from equanimity  - “it’s just a car” to anger – it’s an expensive purchase, I should get what I want, darn it!

Over the next couple of days, I consulted with family and friends and was encouraged to “go for it.” Although the dealership might have no legal obligation to make an exchange, I certainly felt that they had a moral one.

I practiced the Mussar traits of gevurah (strength) and kavod (respect) as I began making daily phone calls to the Toyota sales manager. To his credit, he was kind and understanding, and tried to find me a hybrid. After two weeks, he was still unable to find an unclaimed car that I wanted anywhere in the state of Colorado, so he allowed me to return the gas model for a full refund and put me on a waiting list for the next vehicle to arrive.

On May 7, exactly one month after I took home the “wrong” car, I got a call.  “Your car is being built in Japan. It’s ruby red. It will be here between June 30 and July 12.” (Coincidentally my birthday.)

I had hoped to have a new car when the snow stopped falling. I had hoped to give the keys to the 2009 RAV4 to my granddaughter, Selam,  as her 16th birthday present when she gets her license in mid-June. Instead, it would be two more months of waiting.

Since mastering the soul trait of savlanut is a lifelong struggle for me, rather than become frustrated, I’m trying to look at the delay as another way to grow my patience muscle. I am working to keep the experience in perspective by remembering that two months is a short time relative to the number of years I  keep my cars.

By practicing the soul traits of gevurah, kavod and savlanut, I hope that both Selam and I will have “new” cars as birthday presents before long!