Nedivut Ha’lev (Generosity of the Heart)
- Marilyn Saltzman
- Jul 14
- 3 min read
“Because we live in a money-centric culture, we tend to think of generosity only as a question of reaching into our wallets. But as with all soul traits, generosity is a quality of the soul and so it can find expression in many ways. You can be generous with money and also with your time, your energy and your possessions.” Alan Morinis, “Everyday Holiness”
My mother volunteered for her local Hadassah chapter, selling ads for the membership journal, until just weeks before her death at age 90. As a young girl, I put coins in those little blue and white tin boxes to benefit UNICEF and Jewish homes for the aged. Those types of generosity come instinctively and are easy to practice.
So when our Mussar group talked about how to practice the middah (soul trait) of nedivut ha’lev (generosity of the heart) to grow our souls, I reflected on new ways to be giving. It wasn’t about donating more money or more time to nonprofit organizations. (Though there is always room to do that!) It was more about opening my heart: listening to others with curiosity rather than judgment; creating a space to really hear people with whom I disagree.
I looked to Jewish and secular sources to inform my practice and found some useful quotes:
“To Jews today, the term tzedakah connotes giving charitable contributions, but the term originates in another realm. In the Bible, tzedakah means “righteous behavior” and is often paired with justice.” My Jewish Learning*
Judge every person on the side of merit “for without this trait no friendship can endure. For in most words the listener can find a way to judge the speaker unfavorably. Thus, any friendship will be destroyed without a doubt.” Pirkei Avot (Ethics of Our Fathers) **
The song that kept playing in my head while I was Googling ancient texts was the post-Biblical era wisdom of “Easy to Be Hard,” from the musical “Hair:”
“…especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend.”
Revisiting those lyrics made me wonder: How often do I go off to a nonprofit meeting but ignore the needs of a friend or family member who could benefit from some quality time? When do I give freely of my opinions on a committee yet neglect to respond thoughtfully to my closest family’s conversations? How frequently do I spend time with friends who agree with me as we bemoan the political situation and resist dialogue with those whose views differ?
After considering these questions, I decided my practice to expand my mother’s legacy will be to express nevidut ha’lev through other middot (soul traits). I can be generous:
· With patience when Irv asks me to help him with a phone app that we’ve gone over more than once.
· With honor and integrity when I am discussing a controversial issue with someone who disagrees with me. Rabbi Steve Gutow writes we must speak our minds when our opinions differ from those of someone we respect. And he notes, “Every view has a dimension of truth. One view may be found to be closer to the actual truth than another at a given moment, and it may become halakhah, (Jewish law), but even then we must preserve the other view just in case things change.***
· With loving-kindness in offering to help a “needing” friend without being asked, whether it’s grocery shopping, offering a ride or just making a phone call.
You've raised us all up by challenging us to consider what generosity can mean